
Pictured is a scene from the neighbouring Long Crendon mummers play (cifrca 1990) being performed in a village pub.
IT is The Bucks Herald of 5th January 1924 that we have to thank for recording the mummers play that was traditionally performed in the village of Haddenham. In a regular gossip column called Notes and Queries, the author had been discussing mummer plays and, thankfully, wrote in full this version. It is worth including his introduction:
The Haddenham version of the mummers' play was procured by the kindness of a particular friend, from Mr E Parker, of Flint-street, Haddenham. Taking it all round there seem to be fewer corruptions and more of the ancient echoes in it than in the other versions to which allusion was made last week. This may be due to Mr Parker's superior memory, or to the fact that circumstances kept the tradition more untainted at Haddenham, where (say the neighbouring parishes with that slight touch of malice to which neighbours are wont) the inhabitants were ever 'a hurlicking lot.' The question as to whether this word, which is sometimes pronounced 'harlicking', has anything to do with harlequin, must not detain us. At Haddenham, the characters numbered six; No 1 had no other name than Number One, his function was somewhat that of the Herald in Euripides's plays introducing characters without himself contributing to the action. Father Christmas was dressed in the customary manner; but King George was resplendent in scarlet tunic, adorned with any medals available, and a helmet-like headgear. The Turkish Knight always had his face blacked and his clothes were of the same sombre hue, except that a yellow V adorned his coat, and he wore a round hat which bore a feather. The Doctor contented himself with a top hat and a tail coat and Johnny Jack was truly clad in motley for hiss garments were as much bepatched as the Dinton hermit's, and on his back he carried a bundle, either to give him the appearance of Punchinello, or to symbolize the family of which he boasts.
The gossip columnist on The Bucks Herald mentions another version of the Haddenham play that he received from a correspondent at Great Kingshill. This version appears to have been performed on St Catherine's Day (November 25th) and some of the verses refer to Catterns. Sadly the columnist never published these and they appear to have been lost. Author Walter Rose must have used the above script as an aide memoire when writing his books on Haddenham as they are almost identical. However he does add some more colour about Number One carrying a broom and further stage directions.
In Good Neighbours he writes: "Towards the end of the nineteenth century, zeal for conventions exceeded the ardour of the village to maintain the truly historic play. The police made it their duty to hover on the heels of the players, keeping a watch on their conduct; so that they became fearful of making unannounced entry to a private house. Thus it was, that, in the last years of the Mummers, the public house became almost the only place where the play could be rendered correctly."
The play is still performed in Haddenham pubs at Christmas time along with more modern versions in surrounding villages, such as Long Crendon.
Haddenham's traditional mummers play
- the full text
No. 1: A room, a room, brave gallants, home!
(This, as was mentioned in the previous article, is clearly a corruption of 'Gallants, room!')
I've come to show you many sports and sights
Upon this cold and wintry night
New activity, old activity,
Such activity has never been seen before,
And perhaps will never be seen any more.
Come in, my next head-man!
Father Christmas: In comes I, old Father Christmas,
If I'm welcome or welcome not I hope old Father Christmas will never be forgot,
For in this room there shall be shown
The dreadfullest battle that ever was known.
No. 1: Come in, my next head-man!
King George: In comes I, King George,
King George, the man of courage bold,
With my broad sword all in my hand I won ten grains of gold.
I fought the fiery dragon, and rove him to the slaughter,
And by the means of that I won the King of Egypt's daughter.
Let e'er a man defy me
I'll hack him up in finest dust
And send him to the College to make mince-pie crust.
No. 1: Come in, my next head-man!
Turkish Knight: In comes I, The Turkish Knight From Turkish land
I come to fight
To fight with thee, King George, thou man of courage bold
And if thy blood be hot,
I'll quickly fetch it cold.
King George: What oh! thou little fellow, thou talkest very bold,
Just like the young Turks, so I'm told.
Therefore, thou Turkish Knight,
Pull out thy sword and fight,
Pull out thy purse and pay,
For I'll have satisfaction before thou go'st away.
Turkish Knight: Satisfaction? no satisfaction at all,
For my head is made of iron,
My body's lined with steel,
And I'll battle with thee, King George,
To see which on this ground shall lie.
So guard your head, and guard your nose,
And guard your body, and down you goes!
(King George falls to the ground)
King George: No! Think I've done with the Turkish Knight?
I'll rise up and show my might
So guard your head, and guard your nose
And guard your body, and down YOU goes!
(Turkish Knight falls to the ground.)
Father Christmas: Is there a doctor to be found
That can cure this man that lies bleeding on the ground?
Doctor: Yes, there is a doctor to be found
That can cure this man that lies bleeding on the ground.
Father Christmas: Doctor, what is thy fee?
Doctor: Ten guineas is my fee,
But ten pounds I'll take from thee.
Father Christmas: Doctor, what canst thou cure?
Doctor: I can cure the hip, the pip, the palsy or the gout,
The roaming pains within or out,
Or the gaping pains, or the measles.
Bring me an old woman, three score years and ten,
Without a single tooth in her head,
I'll set her up young and plump again.
For I carry a bottle by my side called Old Egglestone Pain
One drop on this man's brow, and another on his tongue,
Will strike through this man's body and raise him from the ground again.
King George: Arise, arise, thou cowardly dog,
Go home to thine own country and tell them
What old England's done for thee
Tell them we'll fight ten thousand better men than thee.
No 1: Come in, my next head man!
Johnny Jack: In comes I, old Johnny Jack,
With my wife and family at my back
My family is large, although I am small,
A little money now would help us all.
Roast beef, plum pudding, mince pies, jam tarts,
Who likes them better than old Father Christmas and I?
For one mug of your Christmas ale will make us merry and sing,
And money in our pockets is a very fine thing.
So, ladies and gentlemen, sit at your ease
And find us what money you can, if you please.
This play is still performed by a Haddenham Mummers troop in Haddenham pubs at Christmas time along with more modern versions in surrounding villages, such as Long Crendon.
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